My konstantine
by Twistedloveaffair69
Summary: Bella abandoned Jacob years ago to marry Edward. Now divorced and a bestselling author of the Midnight series she thinks back on the boy she left behind. Jacob Black, has finally hit the big time, with his hit record My Never. He's put all his pain in his music and his love for Bella Swan has left him bitter. What happens when their worlds collide after all this time?
1. Chapter 1

**My Konstantine**

 **Summary: Bella abandoned Jacob years ago to marry Edward. Now divorced and a bestselling author of the Midnight series she thinks back on the boy she left behind. Jacob Black, has finally hit the big time, with his hit record My Never. He's put all his pain in his music and his love for Bella Swan has left him bitter. What happens when their world collide after all this time?**

 **Chapter One: I Can't Imagine All the People That You Know.**

 _"But I have my life, I'm living it. It's twisted, exhausting, uncertain, and full of guilt, but nonetheless, there's something there."_  
 _― Banana Yoshimoto, __The Lake _

* * *

_Forks, Washington._

It'd been a long time since she'd been there, but since the book place in Forks, it made perfect sense that her editor would make it a stop for her book signing.

This is where it all happened.

Her high school.

The Newton's store.

First Beach.

Edward's meadow.

All the places that made her who she was.

Bella looked around the library at the large group of fans that clapped when she walked in. she remembered coming here when she was 17 and how she wrote it off as a bust because it didn't have as many books as the library in Phoenix.

It had improved a lot since then.

When her first book had become a top seller, Bella had sent money to Forks, to improve the library. It had been an impulsive move but it looks like the owner had put her money to good use.

Bella was led to a large area where chairs filled with people were neatly lined up, and a table with her books lined up in order, and a large banner with her first book Midnight's cover, behind where she was supposed to sit.

"It's my pleasure and privilege to introduce Bella Swan, author of the New York Times bestseller Midnight. We're incredibly excited to have her here today. Bella will be answering questions about the book and signing copies afterward. So without further ado, please give a warm welcome to Bella Swan!"

There was another round of applause, and Bella smiled shyly at her audience.

After all this time, she still didn't like being the center of attention.

Bella hadn't expected her book to be such a success. She'd started writing when she was still in high school and after her divorce she'd decided to go to college and her English professor convinced her to publish her work.

Bella read a few pages of her book and opened the floor to questions.

An excited teen in the front row wearing a I heart Midnight T-shirt raised her hand, practically bouncing in her seat and Bella smiled, pointing to her.

"Hi, I was wondering who Jacob is?"

Bella's smile turned stiff. She got questions about like this all the time and every time she'd feel her heart drop to the bottom of her stomach.

The dedication in the front of her last book Daylight, _For Jacob, I'm sorry_ , so someone at each signing inevitably asked who he was.

A part of her wished she had never written that dedication but she knew that he deserved an apology, the one she hadn't had the courage to give him in person.

"Jacob was, the inspiration for the character of Jayden in the book. I was the inspiration for Izzy. The book is based on the relationship I had in high school."

Another hand raised. "Did you guys ever get together?"

Bella sighed. "No. Izzy and Anthony got married and lived happily ever after. Izzy and Jayden were just friends."

"But Jayden love her."

"But Izzy didn't return those feelings."

Another hand. "Do you and Jacob still talk?"

"No…After I married … I didn't get a chance to…" Bella trailed off, remember the horrible thing she had done and sighed. "I'm sorry, I really don't want to talk about that."

Another hand raised in the back. "Are you and Anthony still together?"

"No, Edward and I divorced a few years ago. We just grew apart. Edward was still stuck in the place he was when he was 17 and I kept growing until I was someone he didn't recognize anymore. It just wasn't meant to be." Bella didn't feel sad about it anymore.

What she had with Edward was a Love story of the ages…but it was only meant for the teenage years.

"Are all the places in the book real places? Do those people really exist?"

Bella smiled, remembering friendly places and her friends from high school. People who she stopped talking t shortly after she married Edward and hadn't gotten around to calling after the divorce.

"Yes. I changed the names of the people but the places are still the same. You can visit them but they've probably change since the time I wrote about them."

"Have you seen Jacob since the night before the wedding?"

"No. I haven't. I doubt he wants to see me."

"Ok, I think that's enough questions for now," Her editor said, sensing her mood dip. "Let's go ahead and set up for the book signing!"

Over the next few hours, Bella signed and posed for pictures with hordes of teenage girls, a few middle aged women, and a couple of guys. She heard many girls gush about how perfect Anthony was and how they wanted a romance just like hers. Bella wanted to warn them that sometimes the perfect guy isn't the right guy but had a feeling that those girls wouldn't take kindly to her bursting their romantic bubbles. She heard a lot of people tell her how much of a fool Izzy was for letting Jayden go. They said a lot of bad things about Izzy's relationship with Anthony and term abusive got thrown up too much for her liking.

She tried her hardest to show Izzy's love for Anthony. Making sure to describe him in great detail and the way he eclipsed everything around him. However, in a shocking turn of events – the rich, gorgeous boy who loved her more than life itself doesn't hold a candle to the poor, sort of beautiful, boy who loved her purely for who she was and not what she could be.

 _The boy who was reckless, kind, warm, sweet, romantic, and loved her selflessly,_ one journalist writes in a review of the novel.

Edward is the main love interest, the hero. But somehow it is Jacob who truly devastates most of her readers.

A small fight broke out between the Team Anthony girls and the Team Jayden ones. Security managed to break it up and her editor decided that they should call it a day.

Bella let out a relieved sigh and stretched, when a tattered copy of Daylight was set down in front of her, open to the dedication page.

Bella read the script, the familiar **_For Jacob, I'm sorry_ ** and forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Who should I make it out to?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

The voice was husky, and had a bitter edge but god was it familiar.

"You can make it out to Jayden, _Izzy_ ,"

The room goes quiet, as she looked up to meet his gazes. The bitterness in his eyes shoots daggers right at her heart. His posture wasn't lazy and relaxed as it had once been, the air around him wasn't warm, and there's a hint of coldness on his face.

"J-Jacob," Bella choked and he smirked, eyes glinting with smugness.

"Long time no see, Bella"


	2. Chapter 2

**My Konstantine**

 **Summary: Bella abandoned Jacob years ago to marry Edward. Now divorced and a bestselling author of the Midnight series she thinks back on the boy she left behind. Jacob Black, has finally hit the big time, with his hit record My Never. He's put all his pain in his music and his love for Bella Swan has left him bitter. When he performs a concert in Forks, at the same time Bella's doing her book signing, their reunion doesn't go as planned.**

 **Chapter Two:** **And The Places That You Go, When The Lights Are Turned Down Low**

 _"People can become addicted to fame, money, and attention as deeply as they become addicted to drugs."_  
 _― Dennis Prager, Think a Second Time _

* * *

Jacob had finished performing his new song "I don't care," and watched as his fans scream his name and beg for an encore.

 ** _"_** ** _WE LOVE YOU, JACOB!"_**

It felt good to be wanted for once.

He was smirked at the audience, who were wearing his band items. He winked at a woman in a red T-shirt with black and gold lettering "I love Jacob", with his face on it and paw prints. He waved at a little girl holding what appeared to be a hand-sewn doll of himself, hugging it to her chest. He even saw a dude wearing a hoodie with a shirtless picture of himself on it.

He smirked at the crowd and winked at a few groupies. A few swooned, others screamed, and one really hot one lick her lips at him.

Oh yeah, he was _definitely_ getting laid tonight.

"Do you want more?" Jacob shouted and the audience went crazy.

"Well, tell me what you want you want to hear!"

There was a loud roar as people shouted out his songs.

"Sing My Never!" someone in the crowd yelled and Jacob flinched, as the majority of the audience agreed.

 ** _My Never._**

He had written it at the spur of the moment during one of his lower moment. Back when he was young and heartbroken.

Now his music was bitter, containing a not so hidden rage, that he bared for the audience to see.

"My Never, My Never," The crowd began to chant.

He was about to suggest another song, when his bandmates started playing the music for the song. Jacob shot them a glare over his shoulder and Leah returned his glare with a smirk.

" _Will you think of me in time,_ " he began, his voice strong and loud over the music – without shouting. _"it's never my luck so never mind. I want to say your name but the pain starts again,"_

A hush fell as he sang. He fought the pang he felt as he sang the words he memorized by heart. It was this song that made his career, and it was this song that he wanted to bury at the bottom of the ocean.

Because it was about _her._

When he first started, a lot of his music had been about her, but this song. This one song had been written especially for her. A moment of weakness, a manager to nosy for his own good, and friends who had no shame had brought him to this moment.

If he had burned the sheet music when he had a chance, then this wouldn't have happened. But he also wouldn't be famous so…

 _"_ _I can only dream of you and sleep that I never see the sunlight again. I can try to be with you but I'll end up losing a friend and I can only reach for you. relate to you, I'm losing my friend where did she go. Where…"_ Jacob put his heart into the music and watched the audience sway from side to side.

He wanted this. No, that wasn't right. He _needed_ this. The sound of the crowd screaming his name, the look of adoration in their eyes.

 _"_ _I've never been here before, but I saw forever in my never and I stood outside her heaven,"_

When he finished his song, the crowd went wild and Jacob basked in their praise, letting it balm the wound in his chest. They loved him. His fans loved him. A few would probably die for him, which was a little over the top, but they cared and that's what mattered.

As the band was packing up to go, Jacob took the time to sign autographs and take pictures with his fans. He snuck one of his groupies back stage for an encore after the encore. He got her number afterwards and promised to call…but he probably wouldn't.

"That was awesome, Man!" Quil said, giving him a high-five when he got on the tour bus.

"I know," Jacob said, smugly.

Leah rolled her eyes at him, from her seat by the window and Jacob dropped into the seat next to her.

"What's the matter, Lee? Mad that we didn't do your song?" Jacob teased and Leah shoved him.

"Shut up, you know I'm right. The crowd doesn't just want to listen to your songs about hate and sex. They want more than that." Leah growled and Jacob laughed.

"It's my songs about sex and hate that are putting us on top," Jacob replied.

"No, it's your song about pain and longing that put us on top. The other crap is just a bonus to keep us in the top 40," Leah stated and Jacob frowned.

"So, your saying I write crappy music?" Jacob questioned and Leah shook her head.

"No, the music is good," Leah admitted, "but it could be great! _We_ could be great!"

Jacob sighed.

"Fine, we'll put a few of your songs into our next set list." Jacob gave in, reluctantly.

"Thank you," Leah said, "But you could write something deep yourself, instead of making me do it."

Jacob shrugged.

"Maybe I like being shallow," he said and Leah made a noise of disgust.

"You were deep once. It's how you wrote your first hit,"

"Yeah, well that was a long time ago. You can only write what you know," Jacob said, "And right now, hate and sex are what I'm best at,"

"Whatever," Leah scoffed, "Now get me a glass of wine, Mr. superstar,"

"Whatever, Diva," Jacob stuck out his tongue at her, as he got to his feet, "You're drinking a beer just like the rest of the guys,"

"I'm not a guy," Leah protested and Jacob smirked.

"I know, I've seen you naked before, remember?"

Leah's face turned red, with anger or embarrassment Jacob didn't know. Then it faded and she sent a haughty look.

"Bet it was the highlight of your life," she purred and then Jacob was the one turning red.

"It was a very eye opening moment," he admitted then ran off to go get her drink.

 **Leah 6, Jacob 4**

He grabbed a beer from the mini fridge and jumped when someone poked him in the back. He turned around and found Seth smiling at him.

"What do you want?" he asked, tired.

Seth was great….in moderation.

Kid was too happy and optimistic for Jacob's liking.

"We're in Seattle." Seth said and Jacob raised an eyebrow. "That means we'll be passing by Forks,"

"Thank you, Map." Jacob said, "This has been a really educational episode of Dora the explorer. Now, adios. I have to get this beer to your sister before she kills me,"

Seth smile just grew wider.

"Can we stop in Forks for a few days?" Seth asked and Jacob glared at him.

"No,"

"Please, Jake! I want to see my mom!" he begged, giving Jacob his best puppy-eyes.

"No, it'll put us behind schedule," Jacob said, coldly and turned to walk away but Seth grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Come on, Jacob! A few days won't make a difference!"

"I said **_No!_** " Jacob snapped and Seth looked hurt.

Jacob sighed and handed Seth one of the beers in his hand.

"Don't tell your sister I yelled at you," he ordered, and patted Seth on the back.

Seth looked at the beer in his hands then smirked, eyes glinting dangerously.

"I won't tell her if you let me visit my mom," Seth bargained.

"No," Jacob stated firmly.

"Then I'll tell her you yelled at me and gave me beer," Seth announced.

"You're 23 years old," Jacob said and Seth shrugged.

"You think Leah will care. You'll still be the guy who gave her baby brother alcohol."

Jacob's eyes widened.

"You wouldn't dare," Jacob growled, voice low and threatening.

"Try me," Seth shot back and the two stared each other down for a few seconds.

Jacob wasn't scared of Leah. He had no trouble picking on her or pissing her off…but messing with her baby brother brought out another side of Leah.

Pissed Leah he could deal with.

Pissed off- _you-just-messed-with-my-Brother-So-I'm-going-to-ripoff-your-face-and-feed-it-to-the Wolves_ -Leah was another story.

"Fine," Jacob growled and Seth smiled. "Give me back my beer, brat,"

Seth handed over the beer without argument and Jacob walked away wishing that he'd never let the Clearwater's join his band.

Though without them it probably wouldn't be considered a band. More like a solo artist.

Seth was the first to join, Leah came next, following after her wayward brother. Then, after he made it to the big time, Quil and Embry asked to be a part of the magic.

"What took you so long?" Leah complained, as he handed her the drink.

"Tell Embry that we're making a stop." Jacob said through fritted teeth. "We're going to Forks,"

Leah raised an eyebrow but, thankfully, didn't ask the reason for the sudden change in plans.

Jacob let out a frustrated breath and laid his head in his hands.

 _Forks, Washington_

He hadn't been back there in almost 8 years. He left the second he was finished with high school and he hadn't looked back. His dad had finally admitted to the fact that he had an affair with Tiffany Call, making Embry his half-brother, and the two were living together.

Jacob shook his head and got up to go to his room. There were a lot of bad memories in Forks. Things that were better off forgotten…things that had been aired for the world to see when she wrote her book.

Jacob pulled out the copy of her last book. He turned to the dedication page and chuckled bitterly.

 ** _For Jacob, I'm sorry._**

An apology seven years too late.

He pulled out his notebook and grabbed a pen.

You can only write what you know, right?

Well, Jacob Black was all hatred on the inside and sex on the outside.

 _Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you. Now that it's over, I don't even know what I liked about you_

He just needed to add some music, and he had a new song for their next concert. He looked over at the purple notebook that contained Leah's songs.

Leah was going to be pissed if he didn't at least consider a few of her songs.

He sighed, and flipped through the pages until he found one that he liked.

She wasn't going to be happy with just _one_ , not after he promised her **a few**.

Jacob groaned.

Sometimes, being the bandleader _**sucked.**_

* * *

 **Author's note: This chapter was just a little glimpse to let you know who Jacob is now. Next chapter will be Jacob and Bella big meeting.**

 **Songs:**

 **I don't care -Three days Grace**

 **My never -Blue October**

 **Hate (I Really Don't Like You) - Plain White T's**

 **YouTube vid that inspired Jacob's song that made him famous: watch?v=QfDY3i3QVCY**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: Bella abandoned Jacob years ago to marry Edward. Now divorced and a bestselling author of the Midnight series she thinks back on the boy she left behind. Jacob Black, has finally hit the big time, with his hit record My Never. He's put all his pain in his music and his love for Bella Swan has left him bitter. When he performs a concert in Forks, at the same time Bella's doing her book signing, their reunion doesn't go as planned.**

 **Chapter Three:And I don't understand all the things you've seen, But I'm slipping in between you and your big dreams**

 _"It always struck me in years after how bizarre it was, how two people could look at one another with such tenderness and complete love, and how quickly that could dissolve into nothing but bitterness."_  
 _― Hannah Harrington, Saving June_

* * *

He didn't look the same anymore, then again, neither did she. Eight years was a long time. They'd both lost that sparkle of innocence and youth that used to be in their eyes.

Time slowed to a crawl and the air between them crackled as if a storm was about to hit. Jacob grinned, revealing perfectly straight, white teeth, and looking down at her; a predator sizing up its prey.

"W-what are you doing here?" Bella asked and Jacob shrugged.

"I was in town and decided to see what all the fuss was about," Jacob said, his tone casual, but his eyes were still glinting dangerously.

That's it, Bella thought, disappointed.

"Oh," Bella mumbled and glanced over at where her editor was talking to the head Librarian.

"Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee or something, so we can talk?" Bella suggested and Jacob raises an eyebrow.

"I don't drink coffee," he stated, and Bella shoulders slump. "How about we go get something stronger. There a bar a couple of blocks from here,"

Bella eyebrows shot up.

"Since when do you drink during the day?"

"I do a lot of things during the day you don't know about," Jacob said, and Bella looked away, biting her lip.

"I don't drink," Bella said and Jacob tapped his finger to her dedication.

"But I thought you wanted to talk?" Jacob questioned, leaning forward and bracing his hands on either side of her, palms flat on the table, his voice laced with a threat, and Bella fought the urge to back away.

"I do," Bella said, quietly as she glanced away, her brows drawing together as she reflected on how much he had changed.

Bringing herself to look up into his dark face, she spoke, using all the confidence she had gained with age.

"Let's go," she said, rising from her seat and Jacob nodded, his fingers clasping her elbow, as they left the store.

She hoped her editor wouldn't be too mad at her.

….

He shouldn't enjoy watching her squirm as much as he does. Jacob keeps his hand on Bella to make sure that she doesn't disappear on him again. He wasn't expecting to find her here. But on the way to the bar, he saw a big banner with her face on it and he couldn't help himself.

It hadn't taken much to bribe one of her fans to give him a copy of her book. Bella was popular but he didn't have his charm.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked, struggling to keep the nervousness out of her voice and Jacob fought an evil chuckle.

He wasn't going to hurt her…physically.

But a part of him wanted to break her.

To let her know what it felt like to have her heart ripped out of her chest and stomped on the floor.

"I'm taking you to lunch to celebrate your success," Jacob said, his voice low and quiet, leaning so his mouth was close to her ear, his breath fanning over the tender outer rim.

His groupies loved when he did that…and from the way she shivered, so did Bella.

Interesting.

Jacob leads her to a diner/bar that had opened a few months ago. He walks into the place like he owns it, and can feel people's eyes on him as he goes. He knows people recognize him. Interviews always love talking about how he came from a small town and all that crap.

He lets go of Bella's elbow as he strides, no longer worried about her running away.

He's Jacob Black, he doesn't need to force a woman's company. They flock to him everywhere he goes.

He sends a wink at a woman eating dinner with her husband and smirks when she blushes. Her husband glares at him and Jacob meets his glare with a raised eyebrow.

If he wanted her, he could have her. He knows it, she knows it, and her husband knows it. He looks away from Jacob, his jaw clenching and Jacob smirks.

He heads to the back of the restaurant, where a line of booths sits. Jacob slides into one and gestures for Bella to sit across from him.

"So." Jacob says softly, his face unreadable, once she sets down. "Look at you."

Bella shifts uncomfortably and Jacob chuckles.

"What's the matter? You scared? Nervous maybe?" he asks and when Bella doesn't say anything, he shakes his head. "Don't worry Bella, I don't bite…Unless your still into that,"

Bella blushes, and forces herself to take some deep, calming breaths.

"Did you read the book?"

"Yeah, I read it. It was pretty good," Jacob says and Bella smiles.

"I was surprised by the book's success," she admits. "But I guess it's because Izzy's best friend was so awesome,"

"Yeah, Jayden was the only likable character in that sappy, overdramatized, mess," Jacob comments and Bella's smile slips. "Though he came off as kind of push over. The way he let Izzy use him and string him along. What an idiot,"

"I thought you liked it," Bella questions and Jacob laughs.

"I said it was good. I didn't say I liked it," he corrects her.

"Wh- What do you want, Jacob?" Bella asks, once she realizes that this isn't going to be a friendly chat.

"I want a lot of things, Bella." Jacob states, his lips curling up into a slightly cruel smile, as though he's cornered his kill.

"Are you mad about the book?" Bella presses.

"No, I'm not mad about the book. it really gave me an insight into what you were thinking back then. But I couldn't help but notice you left a few things out," Jacob says, amusement in his voice, but it has an edge. "The night before the wedding ringing any bells?"

Bella flushes a deep red, from her neck to her cheeks. "W-what happened that night was a-"

"Aw come on, you don't have to lie me." Jacob cuts in before Bella can make up some excuse. "I was there. I know what happened. I remember you coming over to talk because you had some doubts. I remember you kissing me. And I remember you...on your back, moaning my name."

Bella won't meet his eyes.

"Remember thinkin' you were beautiful, that night, with your skin flushed that pretty rose color. And I remember you telling me you loved me and you know what my favorite memory of that night was?" Jacob asks

"Jacob, I'm sor -" Jacob leans across the table and places a finger over her lips, silencing her.

"I remember waking up to an empty bed. You didn't even leave a note. Did you have time to wash my scent off before you pulled on that pretty white dress" He's still grinning, loving every second of this.

"I-I," Bella wishes she had an excuse for what she did.

"Did you know that you were my first?" Jacob questions, and Bella feels guilty. "Not bad for a first timer, huh? Bet Edward was a prude in bed, right? Part of the reason for your divorce?"

"Listen Jacob, I was young then and I was stupid. I thought-" Bella took a deep breath. "I thought what Edward and I had was an epic love story. I really believed that I loved him more."

Jacob laughs, leaning closer to her, his voice dropping as he asks "Then why did you sleep with me?"

"I just…I wanted Edward but I _needed_ you," Bella doesn't know how to explain it. "I didn't intend to sleep with you. I just wanted to say goodbye and I-"

"What a goodbye, right?" Jacob's grin suddenly gets wider, eyes sparkling, "If you said goodbye to all your friends like that then I'm sure that there are a lot of people missing you right now,"

"You know it wasn't like that, Jacob," Bella snaps, losing her cool.

Before Jacob could reply, a girl approaches the table, wearing an apron and carries two menus.

"Can I take your order?" she asks and Jacob grins at her.

"Depends, gorgeous. Are you on the menu?" Jacob asks and the girl blushes.

"Um…" she stutters, and Jacob reaches over and takes a menu from her trembling hands.

"While you think about it, I'll take a blowjob," Jacob says and the waitress lets out a surprised squeak.

"What? You don't serve those? How about a leg spreader? No? A slippery nipple?"

The waitress had been steadily getting redder and redder the more Jacob spoke and Jacob couldn't help but feel that rush of…pleasure.

She wanted him.

Jacob stretched, enjoying the way her eyes locked on the strip of skin bared when his shirt moved.

"If you can't get me any of those then I'll just take a Jack and coke," Jacob stated, putting the menu back under her arm, letting his fingers brush her arm. "And my friend here will have a ginger ale,"

The waitress nodded and looked nervously at her notepad.

"Can I have your autograph?" she blurted and leaned back against his seat.

"Sure thing, cutie. What's your name?" he asked, taking the pad and pen from her hands.

"C-Candy,"

"Mm, sweet," Jacob purred, signing his name. "Did you ever decide if you were on the menu?"

"I get off at 6," Candy said and Jacob grinned.

"I'll be waiting," Jacob said and the waitress skippered off to go fill their order.

Jacob watched her walk away, licking his lips. Candy was definitely going to be a treat.

He heard an annoyed cough and turned his attention back to Bella who was glaring at him.

"What?" Jacob questioned.

"Was that really necessary?" she asked and Jacob shrugged.

"I never miss dessert," Jacob said, smirking.

"Why did she ask for your autograph?" Bella asked and Jacob shot her a look of disbelief.

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Oh right, you don't watch TV or listen to the radio," Jacob sighed, "Oh, well. You'll figure it out eventually,"

"Figure out what?" Bella demanded, just as the waitress came back with their drinks.

"Here's your drink," she hummed, batting her lashes at Jacob. "A leg spreader, just like you wanted,"

"Thank you," Jacob said, taking a sip of his drink. "Mmm, good but you know what would taste better?"

"What?"

"You, I wonder if your as sweet as your name says."

Candy giggles and Bella took an angry sip of her ginger ale.

Jacob flirts with their waitress for a few minutes, ignoring Bella's glaring, before her manager literally has to come drag her away.

Bella glances at her watch, wondering if her editor has noticed she's gone yet.

"Now, Jacob. I just wanted to apolo-"

"I don't want your apologies, Bella. You're always saying how sorry you are. It's annoying," Jacob cuts her off, waving his hand in annoyance.

"Then maybe we can start over," Bella tries and Jacob lets out a bitter chuckle.

"Look, I have to go," Jacob suddenly says and Bella's eyes widen.

"What?"

"This was nice. Let's do it again some time," Jacob pulls out his wallet and throws down a fifty.

"But we didn't talk about anything," Bella protests.

"We talked plenty. You're still making excuse and I don't have time to listen to them anymore."

"Wait," Bella blurts, and grabbed his arm, when he got up.

"I don't wait, Bella," Jacob says, "My time is a valuable commodity and I have better things to waste it on than you,"

Bella let go of his arm as if he burned her.

"Why did you even come if you hate me so much?" she asks, hurt.

Jacob shrugs.

"I was curious. Thought I might still feel something for you...guess I was wrong,"

Bella eyes water but she pushes it down.

"Well, I'm glad you got your answer," she says, folding her hands in her lap.

"I am too," Jacob grins, and catches Candy's eye.

He jerks his head toward the door and Candy nods.

"Now, if you'll excuse me." he says and walks away with Candy trailing after him.

Bella doesn't watch him go.

* * *

 **Author's note: So their first meeting didn't go well.**

 **Do you think Jacob was wrong or Do you think Bella had it coming?**

 **What do you think about what Bella did?**


	4. Chapter 4

**My Konstantine**

 **Summary: Bella abandoned Jacob years ago to marry Edward. Now divorced and a bestselling author of the Midnight series she thinks back on the boy she left behind. Jacob Black, has finally hit the big time, with his hit record My Never. He's put all his pain in his music and his love for Bella Swan has left him bitter. When he performs a concert in Forks, at the same time Bella's doing her book signing, their reunion doesn't go as planned.**

 **Chapter Four:** **And I Don't Understand All the Things You've Seen, But I'm Slipping in Between You and Your Big Dreams  
**

 _In the desert  
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,  
Who, squatting upon the ground,  
Held his heart in his hands,  
And ate of it.  
I said, "Is it good, friend?"  
"It is bitter—bitter," he answered;_

"But I like it,"  
"Because it is bitter,"

" _And because it is my heart."  
― Stephen Crane, __The Black Riders and Other Lines_

* * *

Bella places a cigarette in between her lips, lights it quickly and inhales deep, leaning against the wall outside of the liquor store.

Her editor has been calling her phone for an hour trying to figure out where she went and Bella knew she had to call her back before she thought some crazed fan had decided to react misery.

She breathes, smoke floats from her lips and she watches it swirl, in a contemplative silence.

She knew it had been too much to hope that he had forgiven her after what she'd done…but she hadn't expected him to be such an…Asshole!

Bella flicked her ashes and sighed.

Well, he wouldn't still be this bitter today, if he hadn't loved her so much before…

Her eyes water slightly and she takes another drag but it doesn't bring forth the calm she's craving.

Bella felt her fingers twitch with the desire to write, to spin todays experience into a poem about pain or a story about consequences, and she really wanted to head back to her hotel to get her laptop. But she pushed it down. She swiped a hand across her face but her cheeks were dry. It had been years since she cried because of a man and today wouldn't be the day she started again.

She flipped her phone open and called her editor to let her know that she wasn't, you know, dead.

"Where were you?" her editor demanded. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? What happened? My god, you could have been kidnapped or dead, or worse, found another Editor! You have no idea-"

"Jenny!" Bella exclaimed, to cut off her editor's rambling. "I ran into an old friend and he took me to lunch,"

"He?" her editor questioned and Bella winced.

Jenny was always trying to encourage her to date and get out more.

"Who was it?"

Bella debated whether to tell her the truth or not.

"Nobody important," she finally says, "So when are we leaving?"

"What's the hurry?"

Bella smiled, sadly.

There was nothing here for her anymore.

It was time she stopped writing about the past and started thinking of the future.

"Bella," A familiar voice growls from behind her and she almost jumps out of her skin, dropping her cell.

Her head snaps around and she spots the person she least suspected would ever want to talk to her.

It seemed her past hadn't finished butting into her present just yet.

….

It wasn't rare for Jacob to find himself waking up in some strange woman's bed. So it didn't shock him to see dark brown hair on the pillow nest to him when he opened his eyes. The woman was hogging all the covers, which didn't bother Jacob since he always ran at 108.9 degrees.

With a satisfied grin, Jacob rolled out of bed and gathered up his clothes, as he walked to the door. He was about to leave… but he hesitated.

 _Jacob woke up, smiling, happier than he could remember being in a long time. He turned around expecting to see Bella lying next to him but the bed was empty and when his hand made contact with the sheets he realized that they were cold, which meant that she's been up for a while now._

 _Maybe she woke up early and decided to make breakfast. Or she was embarrassed and decided to hide in the bathroom._

 _Getting up, not even bothering to search for his clothes, he looked around the house for her, a larger smile spread across his face._

 _"Bella!" Her clothes weren't on the floor anymore, but he knew that he couldn't expect her to be running around naked. "Bella!"_

 _He thought about what was going to happen from now on. They would start dating now and become one of those annoying couples who couldn't keep their hands off each other._

" _Bella!" he called again, knocking on the bathroom door._

 _He could get his GED and follow her to whatever college she planned on going to. They could get an apartment and he could find a job. Then every night could be like last night._

 _He opened the bathroom door, surprised to find it empty._

" _Bella," he tried, checking the kitchen._

 _ **Empty.**_

 _He was starting to panic. There was no way that she would leave him there, right?! He looked outside and saw her truck gone._

 _He was stunned._

 _She left. He still couldn't believe in the words. She left. She left, without a goodbye, without anything._

Jacob's hand slipped from the knob and he sighed before pausing to get dressed. He headed into the kitchen to make coffee. He looked in the cupboard and found a **World's Greatest Mom** mug. He felt an odd twinge of apprehension. He finally took a good look around the apartment and noticed the various pictures of Candy with a man and a kid.

He also noticed the ring on her finger in the photos, a ring that had been absent last night.

Jacob heard the bed creak and a moan from his bedmate. She stumbled into the kitchen a few minutes later and he could see the shock on her face when she saw him sitting at her kitchen table.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, and Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"Good morning to you to," he stated, and slid her mug across the table, "I made coffee,"

Candy didn't look pleased.

"Um…I thought you would be gone by now," she said, hesitatingly sitting down.

Jacob shrugged.

"I decided it would be wrong to leave without saying goodbye," he remarked and he could see her eyes flick to the clock on the wall. "Don't worry, I'll be gone before your husband and the kid get here,"

Candy's eyes widened.

"Look, I can explain-" Candy started and Jacob sighed.

"Fantasy, right?" Jacob questioned, but it sounded more like a statement, "Always wanted to tumble in to bed with a rock star,"

He chuckled bitterly, standing up and Candy stood up with him.

"I'm sorry," Candy blurted, "I didn't actually think you would stick around until I woke up,"

Jacob frowned, offended, even though he had been thinking about running off. He always thought about running off his one night stands, leave them before they could kick him out, but he never actually went through with it.

"Everyone deserves a goodbye," Jacob muttered, heading towards the door.

"I didn't mean…it's just that I heard about your reputation and I-"

Jacob didn't stay long enough to hear the rest.

This wasn't the first time this had happened to him and it probably wouldn't be the last.

He pulled out his cellphone and called Embry to pick him up.

"Hey, Buddy, you done screwing that waitress or are you calling to let us know you're getting hitched?" Embry joked and Jacob groaned.

"Finished screwing her," Jacob said, then sighed, a fake smirk covering his face, "Woke up early for round two and that's when she invited me to join her and her husband for a threesome,"

"Damn," Embry whistled. "Did you do it?"

Jacob laughed, "You know me. I'm all for a ménage Trois but when I fuck I better be the only one in there with a dick,"

Embry laughed and Jacob gave him the address before hanging up.

Then opened his phone to the memo page so he could write some lyrics.

 _Lying, Cheating that's all that you do_

 _Thinking you can use me until the daylight catches you_

 _Lovin you tonight and gone before morning_

 _We both know it's just cuz you were feeling horny_

 _I'm not going to play innocent_

 _I knew what this was_

 _But I'm a single guy_

 _You're a married girl_

 _I'm a single guy_

 _You're a cheatin whore_

Jacob laughed, at his lyrics. Not his best work and he definitely wouldn't be performing it on tour but it made him feel a little better.

He frowned as Leah's word's from a few days ago came back to him.

 **"The crowd doesn't just want to listen to your songs about hate and sex. They want more than that."**

Women couldn't get enough of him in the bedroom but none of him wanted him there in the morning...story of his fucking life

He deleted what he wrote and started typing again.

 _If I could change I would_  
 _Take back the pain I would_  
 _Retrace every wrong move that I made I would_  
 _If I could_  
 _Stand up and take the blame I would_  
 _If I could take all the shame to the grave_

 _It's easier to run_  
 _Replacing this pain with something numb_  
 _It's so much easier to go_  
 _Than face all this pain here all alone_

The honking of a horn pulled him out of his head and Jacob looked up to find Embry waving at him.

"Come on, Jake!" Embry called, and Jacob grinned.

"Just a sec, man!" he called back, his phone asked him if he wanted to save his memo.

"Hurry up!" Embry called again, and Jacob quickly hit delete.

"Alright," he said, hopping in the passenger seat. "But let's stop at a store or something on the way. I need a pack of smoke's,"

* * *

 **Author's note: song: Easier to run - Likin park**


End file.
